So I was listening to two ladies talk about adoption recently. I did not know them and did not want to even begin to join in the conversation right then, but something one of the ladies said to me REALLY stuck out.
She was talking about a neighbor girl she knew who was adopted. I didn't pick up on how it came to happen, but for some reason the little girl had just revealed to this lady that she was adopted (even though the lady seemed to know already) and she seemed sad, or maybe the way she said it was said in a way that seemed sad... I dont know, like I said it's hard when I'm simply eavesdropping hehe :) The part that stuck out to me was what she said to the little girl. She told her "Dont be sad" and went on with the ol' "you have a mommy and daddy who love you, and a home..." you get the point, right? This is the age ol' destruction of adoptee's from what I have read, am i wrong? This is ignoring a child's right to be sad about the loss they have experienced, and telling them they should not grieve. I know I have read adoptee blogs who are were damaged by these very statements that were said/drilled into them growing up. This is the whole "be greatfull" bull that is counterproductive in the life of a child, right? My gut twisted... This wasn't even her child to say that to, it makes me scared of EVER leaving my children w/ people that I am not 100% sure of what their reactions would be (yeah so basically NOBODY). I never want my kids to face this type of attitude towards their adoption story. :(
ugh... my gut is twisting just typing this and imagining the look on my kids face if someone said this to them :(
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4 comments:
Let's all sing along:
"Don't worry, be happy."
Happyhappyjoyjoy. Freeze that smile on your face whether you believe it or not.
Not healthy; nope, not healthy.
That song ANNOYS ME! :) haha!!
If we want to ever leave our children with anyone, we may need to have an adoption lingo 101 brainwashing session first, just to keep our kids safe! Hehe! Really how is one supposed to get the word out as we are NOT the only ones to influence our kiddos?!
yep you are right. Those kind of phrases infuriate me and I'm adopted. Funny thing is,they didn't used to because I thought the people saying things were right. I'm sure that lady had ood intentions, ugh!
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